


Beneath the Cool Fire of the Distant Stars

by Spatchcock



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Bad Poetry, Erotic Poetry, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Poetry, Tom's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8320195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spatchcock/pseuds/Spatchcock
Summary: Thoughts unbidden fly me backto genesis insanitywhen tentative, confused, unsure,we braved the world to share a kiss...





	

**Author's Note:**

> A very early work. Some interesting enjambments and wordplay, and I still love some of the imagery 20 years later. The meter is dreadful and should be edited with a hatchet, but I'm posting it as-is for posterity. 
> 
> The AU-ish backstory, which you cannot possibly glean from the work: Tom and Harry are in a relationship, and when _Voyager_ returns to Earth, Tom's father has a homophobic hissy fit and drags him off to an offworld "gay cure rehab facility" where he's currently locked up while Harry stays in 'Fleet. In the time frame of the poem, Tom is despairing to the point of giving up on life. 
> 
> Terribly melodramatic. :)

I felt at first our souls rip  
then tear at bindings lost past tearing, sundered hearts which once were one and flung  
to darkest depths of galaxy’s arms, far beyond where I might reach my love  
but brave you struggle on, and hope we  
dare we hope we  
someday one will be again.

Rage swallowed me — the mad injustice of it all,  
that we so close so right so innocent  
should be so punished, tortured, hurt —  
But storm emotion passed like autumn rain,  
cold, uncleansing; found my counsel best kept lone.

So build my walls, with towers high to scout where I might see my love  
and battlements to keep unwary far at bay  
And vigil stand, and candle light,  
and never rest ’til safe at home I am in your embrace. 

Now here I sit, to watch the stars that beckon, tease, that spell your name,  
I worry how you’re faring, there without me — lost, afraid...  
Does music soothe your aching heart? or sob your tears into the void?  
Do friends stop by with hollow smiles  
Does working endless numb the pain?

If I from here and you from there extend our hands our hearts our souls could  
dare we  
touch we meet we  
find each other half the way?  
Could seeking fingertips your face caress,  
your cheek your lips would grace my palm  
Your eyes would sparkle, shyly smile  
in sweet surprise, this tender gift,  
your voice like velvet in my ears with whisper soft and deep my love  
of things forgotten for so long,  
of things remembered once again —

Thoughts unbidden fly me back  
to genesis insanity  
when tentative, confused, unsure,  
we braved the world to share a kiss...

I stared into your dazzling eyes,  
my heart wild pounding in my throat,  
the gulf between us gaping wide but closing like a wave came crashing  
washing pushing tugging pulling  
closer still ’til space between us down to nothing  
— no resistance —  
who kissed whom?  
I can’t recall  
but in your arms like coming home I found the half my soul had lost,  
the rightness of the universe, in passioned kiss, in warm embrace. 

the kiss grew tame, while other places  
longed for touch for craved sensation  
follow pleasure where it goes, leads us on  
beyond convention, consequence inconsequential,  
I must have you take you want you  
liberate your burnished skin from tailored prison,  
taste your spice your sweet your  
flesh on mine, heat seeking heat,  
I cannot get my fill of you  
I cannot touch enough of you  
and strong you move against me,  
breath for breath, cry unashamed  
my name as though you do not know another sound  
Your fingertips leave searing trails  
along each nerve and bone I shake  
and fall into your arms, I ache  
to feel you hold me close, you pull me  
down like drowning in your eyes I sink  
and let you take me where you will,  
willing partner, fearless lover.

Dizzy with desire, feel your weight upon me press  
my senses reel, and you and I  
here intertwined are all that is reality.  
I run my fingers through your hair  
obsidian ensorcelles me, electric shocks  
thrill down my spine as kisses brush against my want my  
need my longing cries into your grasp  
so tightly wrapped around me  
I will die without this  
mad sublime sensation  
rising like a spiral wave  
eternal dance of muscle smooth  
beneath your skin slides soft and strong beneath  
my hands my lips against you lost  
in strange erotic scent, like fire wild, in nose and mouth and mind and o  
you have enfilled me quite, absorbed me deep and deep  
and yet  
and yet

cold plasteel walls unwanted drag me back,  
come to myself in Other’s oubliette  
out here among the stars I cannot reach my love  
where comets streak like tears, the face of night  
regards me calm, dispassionate,  
as I behold the future I endure  
without you near, alone, I lack  
the strength to fight the vacuum  
sucking out my soul, the life in me  
bleeds out into the blackness,  
final call, the wheel has spun.

And if cruel fate decrees we shall not meet  
among the dust and light of earthly plane,  
then slip the curtain far beyond and find me waiting  
joyous loving once again  
And on the meadows' grasses sweet and unencumbered  
we will walk together in warm silence  
beneath the cool fire of the distant stars.

— January 1997


End file.
